Yes, Let's!

So, I was talking to my roommate the other day and I was exasperated at how difficult it is for me to find dance costumes in my size. I don't dance or anything, well, not like "professionally" or anything; I just have this "thing" for lame' and tassesl and shit. SO, she was all "yeah, it's probably because grown women aren't supposed to wear them...".

I was stunned.

and then as I started thinking back to my past, I realized that most of the sports I ever did growing up involved ridiculous fucking costuming in one way or another. Like when I was in baton twirling classes when I was 5. I TOTALLY joined so I could get the git-up. I was stuck in these fucking navy shorts and this god damn ringer t-shirt when chicks like this got to OWN that shit...
so, needless to say, I quit.

Second I was in ballet and I was hyped on the leotard and the tights and the lil dance skirt; for about a month. Then, I found out we were going to be performing Hansel and Gretel. I was sure that my ass was gonna be looking fly in some petticoated mess of tule and tutus. Nuh uh. I was cast as a mother fucking gumdrop, and I was less than hyped. I guess these lil chicas are also "gumdrops", and actually their costumes look pretty SICK, but they also look like miniature whores...
yep. beezy on the left is totally givin me the stink eye and flashing her grill. nope.
I quit the next day.

Thirdly, I gave my best shot at ice skating. I was mega into it. I have to say that it was mostly due to that damn movie "The Cutting Edge" that I got into it. But whatevs, I OWNED that shit, and I actually won some competitions and got to wear some siiiiiiick dresses. but the beezies at the rink were hella fucking scary ('member Tanya Harding 'n shit?!) and I couldn't keep up with it. anyways, I got over it, and realized how damn ridiculous the whole deal was, but it was fun while it lasted.

So, now, I just realize that ya know what, if you wanna wear some crazy ridiculous kits, you don't REALLY need an excuse to. I saw a 65+ year old lady rocking her shit on the street the other day and she was looking reeeeaaaallll saucy. Yes she was wearing gold lame' and had a fanny pack on, and I was HYPED to see it. I honked. It was my past, present, and future. So, I'm going to be on the relentless search for more tule, tassels, and rhinestones. Deal wit it.

oh! and, if you have a daughter, ever, for the love of god, don't put blue eye shadow on her 3 year old eyelids. Srsly.